I'm a little achy tonight.
I went on a 15-mile backpacking hike with 5 beautiful amazing girls. We were part of a group of 35 other girls and leaders, tromping through the gorgeous woods in the northern Utah mountains. I wish I could show you all the flowers we saw, how green everything was, the way the built-up pine needles felt to walk on compared to the compacted gravel of the red dirt road, the 30-pound pack on my shoulders, the rocks and pine cones under my sleeping bag, the swarms of mosquitoes that followed us. Words just don't do it. You need to experience the hike. You need to feel what a sleeping bag feels like after a day of hiking with all those girls, to fall asleep listening to them chatting and laughing (how do they keep going full-throttle after a day like that?), to listen to them share their thoughts on the Gospel. I can't describe the feeling it gives. Or the physical feeling of being 25, not quite at backpacking-health, bruised on the hips, shoulders, and lower back from my pack (though I'm not quite complaining--this was my first time with my new pack and I loved it)... So yeah, I'm a little achy.
But driving away from camp, by myself, probably for the last time... yeah, I'm achy. I have had 14 awesome years of attending Girls' Camp, whether as a young woman or as a leader (including 5 years as 4th-year hike leader). I love the property our Stake owns. I'm home there for days out of the year. Red Spur, Inspiration Point, the 'Chapel'... It's all beautiful. And I probably won't ever see it again. I ache. My girls... They have been such a big part of my life. I've been so lucky to know them in the Girls' Camp setting. It's beautiful. They're beautiful. The hikes are hard, but my girls have been the motivation. To not have that boost every summer? Achy.
Allow me my mourning time. I spent the first 15 minutes of the drive home just crying in my car, mourning the loss of this adventure. The realist in me says that life will hold more good adventures. Sure. Great. I know that. But the spoiled selfish part of me says that I want this adventure still. Mosquitoes and all. Physical aches and all.
I just miss it already...
4 comments:
I empathize with you, Suz, I really do... girls camp was the best week of my life.
Awe :( Suzanne! It will be ok. Once you're married and you became "Sister Gille" you will be made into a Young Women's leader, and will be off on a new adventure in camping! I'm sure of it. :D
See ya tonight!
come to think of it, yes, the girls, the chats, their testimonies, etc. are also things that make me love girls' camp. but i still say the food is the best! (i kid.) i'm sure the girls will talk about you for years as the greatest leader; those that have experience camp with you will tell the younger ones what they missed out on. but it's true; i'm sure life holds better things for all of us.
Aw, Suz. I don't know if I can picture you without Girl's Camp. That's been your summer backbone! I'm aching with you.
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